{New #OutsideTheMomBox post} #Moms H2O 101

Summer is officially here and with it, long days that often feel exhausting, especially if you are pregnant or have a baby attached to you. One way to help curb exhaustion and remain alert is to stay hydrated. 

I'm always surprised how much more awake I feel after I sit down and have a few good gulps of water. Then, again and again. Dehydration can make us feel fatigued, head-achy, and nauseous. Drinking water is kind of like taking deep breathes, for me. It can feel cleansing and mind-clearing...when I'm being mindful of what I am doing!

Pay special attention to your fluids when you're exercising. I had a wicked headache for almost 4 days shortly after I came back from working out harder than I should have, one of my first times back at the gym. I'd drank a little water when I was there but not enough and had been nursing Elisabeth almost non-stop the night before as she battled yet another ear infection. I couldn't figure out why my headache was so bad. It seemed like a migraine but I'd never had one before. Only an 800 mg tab of prescription ibruprophen leftover from oral surgery seemed to knock it back a bit. Weeks later, after sleuthing around on the internet, I guessed that perhaps I had been severely dehydrated. I now make it a practice to drink most of my 16 oz Camelbak of water en route to the gym, while there, and on the way back home. I also keep a full glass of water by my bedside table so I can sip overnight whenever I need to.

Speaking of sipping, make those sips more appealing by adding something to it. I'm a sucker for pretty things so when something is more visually appealing, I'm more drawn to it, even my water bottle! Grab a bundle of mint from the Farmers Market on Saturday mornings for only $1. I add a good 8-9 leaves to my Camelbak and then keep a pitcher of cold water with plenty of mint floating in it, ready to go in the fridge. That bundle should last the whole week. If you aren't a mint fan, add some cubed watermelon, slices of washed, peeled cukes or the old standby: lemon wedges. Even Elisabeth is getting into it, saying "mint" and looking for it at the Farmers Market!

A bib always helps with any water play! (Elisabeth at 7 months.)

Kids, even babies, love water. We bought Elisabeth a water table when she was a little over a year and I have high hopes for her to use it for another two years at least! But for littles closer to the 6 month + mark, you don't need to get that fancy: set them up for some fun water play on their high chair (or outside in the shade on a blanket). Put a few ice cubes on their tray and see how they react. It will likely be too slippery to pick them up easily but of course keep a close eye on them with the cubes. If your baby is teething, wrap the cubes in a scrap of clean, thinnish fabric so baby can then use them to ease their achy gums. This kind of cool distraction might be just the thing you need to remind you to drink your water too!

A few special notes-

If you're breastfeeding, baby will be drinking more which means that YOU need to be drinking more. Breastfeeding is a loss of fluid, after all, so you do need to replace those fluids. Baby doesn't need water. Remember that breastmilk is 89% water so baby doesn't need to be drinking water by herself although a sippy cup full of water can be a fun activity! Water is okay for Baby to drink if she is at least 6 months but just a few ounces a day. Most babies under a year don't seem all that interested in drinking water.

If you're pregnant, it's even more important for you to be drinking plenty of water when the weather turns hot. Dehydration can happen very easily and can be very dangerous. Remember too that a loss of fluid is felt throughout the body (think headaches, nausea, etc.) and that includes the uterus. This piece over at Live Strong details all of this quite nicely. 

Do you have any tips or lessons learned when it come to keeping hydrated? Leave a comment below. Thanks for reading!

6 "starter" books to read with your baby or toddler

It's so easy to get sucked into the hype of being a new mom. We're told that we need to be the best advocate for our child(ren) which involves the "small" stuff like knowing signs of readiness for solids as well as the "larger" issues like keeping up on the latest information related to children's health. So when someone comes along with something that feels like it might be a timesaver AND help our child at the same time, many of us feel compelled to seize upon it.  But, sadly, in spite of Baby Einstein's lofty promises, a new article in The Atlantic confirms that no, babies cannot learn to read at three months.  

Sometimes, it's articles like these that reminds me to take a step backward and just enjoy the moments with my daughter as they happen.  In that vein, below are 6 books for you and your baby that I've found offer a good jumping off point into reading: 

1. Little Blue Truck by Alice Schertle and Jill McElmurry - I read this book for the first time to Elisabeth at 3 months after I saw it at my sister Sarah's house. Plot: a friendly blue truck talks to everyone and helps out a larger truck who isn't as friendly. Yes, a little bit of an advanced storyline for a newborn but the rhyme-y nature, pithy life lessons ("now I know a lot depends on a helping hand from a few good friends,") and gender neutral characters sucked me in! I now know this book by heart and can recite it on call whenever stuck in a traffic jam or an unfriendly airport. Elisabeth still loves it. 
2. Tumble Bumble by Felicia Bond - Another one we started reading at 3 months. Plot: animal characters find unexpected adventures (and unlikely friendships!) with each other on a sunny afternoon.  Very fun, gender neutral and also catchy. Another one I know by heart and can recite anywhere.  
3. Mama, Do You Love Me? by Barbara M Jossee & Barbara Lavallee - One of our favorites that I have been reading to Elisabeth since she was born. Plot: a little girl tests mom and mom continues to reassure that mom's love is forever. Endlessly sweet and beautifully illustrated. Mom and daughter appear to be Native American which is also nice. A very simple book with lots of opportunities for discussion.
4. Good Night Moon by Margaret Wise Brown - A classic that I loved as a child and one which we started early, early with Elisabeth. Plot: A gender neutral bunny getting ready for bed bids good night to pretty much everything ("goodnight stars, goodnight air,") before finally ready for sleep. Lots of simple, easy to understand language with words to learn and repeat. Repetitive but not boring.
5. Each Peach Pear Plum by Allan Ahlberg & Janet Ahlberg- One of my favorites that went off my radar until recently. Plot: Several fairy tale and folk characters (Mother Hubbard, Cinderella, Wicked Witch, Robin Hood, etc. ) join in to form a sweet, rhyming story which is engaging and fun. Great opportunities to ask baby/toddler what he sees as he gets older ("where are the bunnies?" or "Show me where the broom is.").
6. Roadwork by Sally Sutton- A recent discovery. Plot: a crew of men and women build a road from start to finish with amazing sound affects along the way. Wow, what is not to be crazy about in this board book? There is a nice repetition, lot of action, beautiful illustrations and a crew who works together on each page to achieve the goal. Elisabeth loves the sound affects on each page.  

While your baby may not learn to read at 3 months, it is important to read to her, as this piece featured on WUNC recently explored. Remember, too, that when you read together, she is learning new words as well as a love of books. These little seeds are like so many as a parent that you plant on a daily basis which hopefully will stay with your child for life.

What are your favorites?  What would you add to this list?  Leave a comment below.

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Child-directed play

Your newborn may be a bit young for this but perhaps you have an older child or are just thinking ahead, then read on...

One of the most difficult things that I have had to learn as a parent is to allow Elisabeth to direct our play*.  I see a lot of parents struggle with this: the letting go of their child so that she can do her own thing.  It is so hard. But in my continued reading of family therapist Jesper Juul's inspired book _The Competent Child_, I've learned that it is absolutely essential to allow our child to exercise free will. 

For me, allowing your child to exercise free will starts with taking her seriously.  Which sounds a little wacky, I know  It's easy to not take a child seriously.  They are small, not as strong as an adult and sometimes can't even verbalize their own wants and needs.  But really aren't these are all the more reasons why we need to take our children seriously?  It's all too easy to just pick him up and move him where you want to, right? When you take your child seriously, though, you try to understand "the situation" from their perspective and value what they are doing or trying to do.  So, in Music Together class for example, I can go get Elisabeth when she wanders off toward the bathroom instead of playing with her maraca OR I can allow her to do that, just sit there and notice what she is doing.

So, reason #1 to not pick up your child and just move them: it's not sustainable long-term.  At some point they will be large enough to fight you or at least make moving them physically difficult and likely embarrassing for both of you. But perhaps most importantly, reason #2 why moving them isn't the best action to take is that when you allow your child the freedom to make their own choices, you teach them that their own wants/needs/feelings/experiences are valid.  In doing so, you show your child that you take them seriously.

When I think about what I want my daughter to know above else, I come back to one key point.  One of which is that she will always know that she is important: that she counts.  Even if I or someone else doesn't like her ideas or agree with her words.  Even if she speaks loudly or doesn't talk at all. She counts, no matter what.  Her feelings are valid.  And I can say "you can do anything you set your mind to," (as my mother told me) or "you never have to compromise your beliefs," or "no matter what, I'll always love you," but if my actions don't back up those laudable statements, then what good are they?  And, yes, she's a little young to hear those exact words right now but she hears other reassuring words that validate her sense of self so it's still important to back those words up with actions.

There's also an usually invisible pleasure to be found in allowing child-directed play in that we give ourself "the bloom of the present moment,".  I love that quote and found it while reading Christian McEwen's _World Enough and Time_.  McEwen talks about time with children as a way to slow ourselves down and be guided more by fascination, as children are, than schedules. It's a lovely sentiment.  Fortunately it's one that those of us who have small children can actually dip into when we allow child-directed play.

I am one of the most impatient people that I know and that absolutely carries over into my parenting although I work really hard to tamp it. So, I often find it difficult to just allow Elisabeth to do whatever her big heart desires.  What that often looks like in real time is much back and forth of her handing off puzzle pieces and me reading each one aloud.  As always (or so it seems), this is exactly where I think we're supposed to be.  Me helping the learning instead of directing it.

What do you think?  Do you allow child-directed play and if so, what does this look like on a daily basis as a parent?

*within safety, of course.

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