{Guest Post} Space Priorities: Reflecting Daily Flow & Values

~Note: This week's post is by Merritt Chesson. Merritt is the professional organizer and founder of SIMPLY KEPT, based out of Durham, NC. She provides assistance in clutter management and organizational design in both homes and workplaces.~

We often talk about what fills our time, how we spend our time, etc. But what fills our space? And how does this affect how we use our space, how we feel in our space?

Too often, as with time, our space gets filled with happenstance objects like shoes we do not wear, furniture we do not like, unread magazines or unused appliances. These objects do not support our daily flow or values. They have a way of crowding out or distracting us from those things that do serve our interests – those things that we actually do use regularly, that inspire us, and that contribute to the kind of lives we want to live.

Instead of a clear, open, inviting space for eating, for example, a kitchen table gets piled with mail, books, and bags. Instead of a pleasing display of one’s clothes and accessories, a closet gets packed with old storage boxes and forgotten keepsakes. Instead of a productive, efficient, and inspiring workspace, an office becomes filled with piles of papers, supplies, machines, and cords. 

Cluttered spaces can leave us feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and distracted from what we really care about, from those things that actually impact our lives in a positive way. Clutter winds up affecting not just our physical space by also our state of mind, how we think, feel, and function.

As a professional organizer, I encourage my clients’ awareness of their daily needs and rhythms to help them to sort through and clear out those items that clog space and distract from priorities and/or desired lifestyle or workflow. We consider together how they wish to function and feel in their space and explore ways to make that happen.

You can do this too by approaching one space at a time (kitchen, closet, office, living room, laundry room, basement, drawer, filing cabinet, pantry, etc.). Below are some helpful questions for self-assessment and direction. While my clients and I work on most of these together, I suggest you choose one or two to keep you focused and not overwhelmed:

• How do I feel in this space? How do I want to feel in this space?
• What are my priorities for this space? How do I want to use this space?
• How do I want this space to reflect and support my values?
• Are there some items in this space that I don’t use regularly? Could they be thrown away, recycled, given away, or stored somewhere out of the way? (This is one of my absolute favorite questions!!! Letting go of these items is a huge first step to making way for those things that contribute positively to your daily life.)
• Are those items that I do use regularly reasonably accessible?
• What do I need to feel more inspired, empowered, and at ease in this space? 

When your space supports your values and priorities instead of distracting you from them, you are living well!

~Merritt has offered OTMB readers a great deal: email info@simplykept.org, mention this post, and receive 25% off for a 6-hour package. Offer good through the end of January 2016. Thanks Merritt!

Gaining more than just weight

I knew I'd gained weight before I knew it. But when I arrived home Sunday afternoon and tried on my favorite pair of orange pants, the truth was confirmed. I'd worked hard to lose that weight and gaining it back sucked for the obvious reasons but also because it was a failure. I'm super competitive (most obviously with myself) and I take failure seriously. Admitting failure out loud is also hard but more than that, it's a wake-up call that in addition to weight gain, I'd also gained complacency. I'd become used to not offering out my own vulnerability in my work the way that I have in the past. And that hits just as hard.

For some women, vulnerability is their platform, like Glennon over at Monastery for example. Everything about Glennon is an act of vulnerability. She brings it all, all the time. But for me, I live and work from a place of empathetic authenticity. For me that means showing up (as much for me as for you) + offering my vulnerability + speaking my truth in hopes that it helps or gives permission. I've been showing up and speaking but offering my vulnerability faded, unnoticed. Not by you, though. You notice the difference because you resonate less with the post/update/Tweet. Rants can be entertaining but watch the "likes", shares or comments when you post a photo of yourself in a bikini for the world to see. Or share your c-section scar. Or talk about the river of grief in which you are still treading water.

Habits that are hard to maintain are easy to lose sight of...whether that's living healthily or being vulnerable. I know where I went off the path (half the battle, so yay) but now I need to make the changes so I don't veer off again. One way to do that is to bring me into it. To ask myself before I write or post if my experience, my story, is in there. Brene Brown says, "Story is our way home." in _Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted_. For starters, I'll use that as my compass. Telling our own story is always a vulnerable act. It's not practical to always have me in there but it can be a double-check where there wasn't one before.

The practice, where I'm starting now (again) is the most important part of becoming who I want to be, Seth Godin says here. So, I'll do better. That practice (and the promise in it) is as much for my own growth and business as it is for you, on whatever end of the life seesaw you're balancing now. Because I want to be the woman who owns her story and in doing so, help others listen to and own theirs. Thank you for reading.

Psst! Do you get my weekly e-newsletter? It contains short thought pieces on personal growth and losing the fear as well as ideas for inspiration and news about upcoming programs. Click here to subscribe. 

Lessons from The Bird (no, not that one)

The Moa was a large, flightless bird that lived in New Zealand in the 1300's with only a massive species of eagle as their natural predator until an indigenous group of people arrived on their island. Within one hundred years the Moa were extinct. So were the eagles. It's not that different today.

Image courtesy of Sci-News here

We don't become extinct the way the Moa did but it can be just as painful. Extinct for you and I means that "we" are gone. Our self has been lost. But that doesn't happen all at once. And it doesn't have to happen. Below are a few lessons from the Moa that feel especially appropriate at this time of year:

1) Protect your mind. Like the Moa, your feared predators are the interlopers in your life who don't really belong there but who works hard to keep you in a neat box that fits their needs. That may be your work or a relationship. Keep contact with those entities at a minimum or cut them out entirely.

2) Protect your body. Run away from anyone or anything that tries to get uncomfortably close or don't respect your boundaries. Find communities of support (whether virtual or in person) that help you stay strong and focused. 

3) Protect your soul. Reserve sacred time for yourself, alone. That can be as simple as a trip to the grocery story by yourself or as intentional as a weekly yoga class. Throw things out or donate. Remember to breathe. Your soul needs that oxygen flow like your body. 

You are one of the things that I am most grateful for this year. You feed my mind, body and soul and keep me accountable. With your support, I'll be around for a while..unlike the poor Moa. I hope you stick around too. Happy Thanksgiving.

Do you have a bad job?

One of my favorite commercials of all time is this Lisa computer one, from 1983. I like it for one obvious reason (mmmm...Kevin Costner + dog) but also because it idealizes an off-grid, on your own time, style of work that I need. But it's not just me who responds to the idea of adapting work into a path that works for you. The more I listen to women talk about their work, the more evidence I see that work isn't working anymore for many women.

You get to define what's essential for you in your life. Your work, paid or otherwise, is one of those areas. If you have a job that sucks, it may be a bad job. Bad jobs are ones that:

• ...don't encourage your professional growth. Think the company that doesn't promote you or doesn't have a clear path to promotion. This may also be the company without professional development funds or where your talents are wasted on projects that you could do in your sleep. This could also be the organization that won't give you firm details on your job during a merger.
• ...feature an absent, unavailable or abusive boss. Good bosses are present, physically and mentally. They know how to supervise, manage and lead. They offer regular supervision, give feedback and have an open door to hear your thoughts and ideas. Bosses who take credit for your accomplishments, encourage cliques, ask you to compromise your personal values, bully or use inappropriate behavior or language are not acceptable.
• ...cause undue anxiety. Some stress at work is normal and even healthy. Deadlines, working on a diverse team or working alone are normal but can be stressful. Anxiety, sleeplessness, worry and fear related to your job are not normal and not okay. They should be huge red flags to you that something is very wrong.
• ...don't support you as a person. Good companies know that happy people are happy workers. These are employees who are not only "allowed" to leave early to pick up a sick child but are encouraged to do so. Life/work balance isn't a myth; it's an option that companies can choose to promote. Regardless of their choice, balance is a must for you.

Bad jobs are also ones which no longer work for you. "Christine", the social media specialist at a mid-size non-profit, live Tweets weekend work events and gets part of her smart phone expenses paid by her company with the trade-off that she must be "on" much more than her already long days entail. She used to love this. Now, pregnant with twins, this lifestyle feels a lot less fun than it used to. Her job is bad because it doesn't work for her any longer.

These bad job criteria are guidelines to get you thinking. The bottom line is you get to determine if your job is a bad one or not. And then: what do you do about it? One thing you can do is make small changes to leave. Tempting though it may be, you're likely not in the financial position to quit an unsatisfying or unhealthy job tomorrow. So, while you are still working at your bad job, start with small changes. Like these:

• Update your LinkedIn profile. You may not like it but suck it up and use it. If you work in any capacity, you need a profile on LinkedIn, with a photo and information current and relevant. Ask for recommendations and build connections. LinkedIn is the way to tell your professional story. This is also one way potential employers find you.
• Register for The Pandora Passport - one of my two group coaching programs. In addition to learning your personal values ("flexible independence", "generous power", "authentic connection", or "story doula" anyone?), you will develop a concrete list of tools and skills that you can use in your daily life, including social media and work...and in the search for your new work.
• Talk to a friend who recently transitioned into a new job. What helped her? Where did she get stuck? How did she find it? Be a detective in your conversation and, if it feels comfortable, share with her why you're asking. You never know who she knows or what may be out there when you make your declaration to the world that you're looking for a new job.

Your next job won't be your last job. No one who is committed to her personal and professional growth stays at a company for her entire professional career anymore. Not my smart, learning-oriented clients anyway! Companies move slowly and your happiness and professional satisfaction are not high on their list. But they may be higher on the list at another company.  Your next job is just that: your next job. Not the solution but a stepping stone to something better.

You get to define what's essential for you in your life. Your work, paid or otherwise, is one of those areas. Work must work for you. If you have a bad job and are ready to explore what a new, better job would look like for you, join me for The Pandora Passport. This group coaching class is all about learning how to pursue what works for you and then getting it...including that next great job.